International dating involves a lot of barriers. The first of these is of course distance and it tends to dominate the relationship in the early stages. What a lot of new participants in international dating soon experience though can be more of a barrier – and that is the cultural differences between each partner. Today I want to look at that in depth and in particular answer the question – why don’t Russian women smile?
A smile in Western society conveys several meanings. On the surface it shows happiness and joy. On a subconscious level, a smile creates trust and rapport. To loosely quote Mark Twain “wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been”. It displays happiness and acceptance of other people.
To put his into context of your partner, the first image you saw of her was most likely from her online profile. She probably included photos taken by her family where she was smiling and enjoying what was going on around her. As your friendship progressed into a relationship, you probably started to use a webcam. Though a bit grainy, you could see her well enough and she often smiled back at you.
If your partner is the only contact you have had with any Eastern European society, then what comes next is going to be a culture shock for you. You are going to get on a plane and go visit her. As soon as you cross into Russian airspace, everyone (and I do mean everyone) is not going to smile at you. The woman processing your visa as you enter customs is going to treat you with disdain. The middle aged waitress who serves you at dinner that night will treat you with a level just above contempt. Well, this is how it is going to appear to you anyway until you settle into your new surroundings.
Russia is a land of contrast. The people are genuinely warm, caring and friendly but only to people they know. They rarely show this emotion in public. If you are an American, British or Australian man, you are going to have difficulty adjusting to this at first. You are use to service with a smile. You are use to offering up a quick smile as an apology if you suddenly block someone’s way on the sidewalk. But not here. At best, you will be greeted with a neutral expression.
So why is this? Why don’t Russian people smile? It is their culture born out of a century of oppression. This is a country that sent 20 million of its own people to the gulags in Siberia during the 1930′s, 40′s and 50′s. This is one of the coldest and harshest inhabited places of earth. The Road Of Bones that connects Magadan and Yakutsk is aptly named as the inmates from the labor camps and gulags who died while building the road are buried under or laid next to the road.
Being suddenly ‘disappeared’ from society and ending up here up here did not mean you were a violent criminal. Everyday Russians were sent here for trivial items such as being late for work, petty theft or anti-government jokes. It was a form on national punishment used to control the masses. And it worked. People became paranoid of anyone they did not know. It created a survival consciousness that avoided eye contact or smiling at anyone.
Fortunately, this is changing. The older generation will not change but younger Russian people are being westernized. An 18 year old girl will readily smile at you if you just thanked her for the service she just provided while serving you lunch or selling a movie ticket. You will also find a contrast from the public life of Russian people and what they are like in the family home. A man who appears hard and unforgiving outside is a warm and caring husband or father once he comes home for the day.
If your relationship is at the point where you are about to get on a plane and experience this first hand, remember to take it in your stride. The parting advice that I can give you is when you do enter a Russian home for the first time, remember to take a gift with you to thank your hosts. They are welcoming you as a friend or even one of their family. Respect that moment and show your thanks.
Are you interested in international dating? Why not check out the women now online at our Russian dating site. We have hundreds of beautiful Russian women who want to meet you.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6241064
Heathy long term relationships do not develop properly when two people skip very important steps in relationship building, especially during the dating period. By doing these simple steps in order, you can prevent future realtionship breakdowns.
Of coarse, the chemistry between two people will have a signifigant impact on wether two people are made for each other. But these tips can give your relationship a fighting chance.
How a relationship should develop:
1. Eye to Body
This is when you see that special someone from a distance. Depending on what you see will determine if you move on to the next step.
2. Eye to Eye
When two people make eye to eye contact, our brains evaluate the potential for somebody to become a mate. The more it likes what it sees the chance increases that a person gaze longer at the other persons face.
3. Mouth to Ear
This is the point when two people begin a casual converstation. This is an important stage because you will evaluate the other person and find if you have anything in common with them. This is a good time to evaluate the chemistry between you and the other person.
If you liked what you seen in stage 2, but ignore stage 3, then the relationship as very little chance at success.
4. Hand in Hand
This is the very first step at bodily contact. Holding hands may seem old fashioned to some, but most females want this kind of affection. In this same catagory is Arm around Shoulder. Proceed with caution to see which one is right for you and your potential mate.
5. Mouth to cheek
To avoid the over-welming feeling of moving too fast. I advise that you move as slowely as possible. A simple kiss on the cheek can test how that other person feels about the idea. The best way to move into this area of a relationship is to be open and ask what the other person thinks about it.
6. Mouth to Mouth
This step is a pretty big step. Sometimes the timing is just right, but be careful not to do it too soon. If you missed a step or two, you may need to backtrack. If you don’t do things in order you might freak out your date. Don’t slobber all over your date. Well at least the first time around anyways.
7. Tongue to Tongue
This is not a neccasary step. You may want to ask if your companion is comfortable with this.
8. Hand to Body
This step usually happens when two people are caught up in the act of kissing. Be careful you may turn hot into cold if you make the other person uncomfortable. However it is possible to turn hot into hotter also.
I don’t advise taking the relationship further unless two people have spent a lot of time together and have decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. The reason is to really make a relationship solid is to “only do these steps with the right person.” If you do these steps with every casual person then you are likely to have your senses dulled and will not know the difference whent he right one comes along.
9. You know
I don’t need to explan what this is!
Now the most important step of all:
Once you have found that special person and have married, repeat steps 1-9 at least once a day (when possible). This will keep your relationship as fresh as the first day you met. Don’t skip any steps.
If a husband comes home from work, skips all the steps then wants step number nine. The result could be the wife feeling used and unappreciated. That is why it is important to repeat all the steps!
I hope this article helps you build a strong and healthy relationship.
One of the developmental tasks of all adolescents is to establish productive relationships with their peer group and to understand and manage their sexuality. Dating provides fertile training ground for these teens for learning about themselves and how to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships as they continue to mature and grow. Due to growing up in a homophobic society, most gay men as teenagers had to keep their sexualities hidden for fear of social backlash and further damage to their already shaky self-images. Some boys chose to distance themselves completely from dating, while others chose to date their female peers to more easily “fit in” and be accepted. For some, there was no other choice for them but to date girls, while for others it was an attempt to extinguish their feelings they had for males. Very few gay men had the luxury of being able to openly date other gay males as teenagers and to live authentically. Fortunately, today’s generation of gay youth are experiencing slightly more liberal attitudes and acceptance from their peer group about being gay, but there’s still a long way to go. As a result, many gay men as adults remain perplexed and confused about how to date other men. Without training, education, and support, many gay men are forced to “wing it” as they mingle and mate with other men, leaving many of them unsatisfied with their dating experiences and wondering if they’ll ever find a loving partner to settle down with.
What follows is a tips list of things for gay men to keep in mind as they go about meeting other men in pursuit of their Mr. Right. Add your own to the list and keep it handy as a quick-reference guide as you embark upon your dating adventures to promote greater success in your romantic life.
Dating Success Tips
1. Live your life to the max! Creating a full life puts you in charge of your own happiness and puts less emphasis and dependency on finding a relationship to make you whole. You must be whole as a person first before a healthy relationship can be cultivated. By developing yourself, those internal feelings of zest and fulfillment will show on the outside as well. Very attractive indeed!
2. Know who you are, what your needs and values are, and what you stand for. This will take you far as you delve through the dating world. Having a clear vision and purpose will help to keep you centered and grounded on your quest.
3. Examine your relationship history and determine what behaviors worked for you and which ones didn’t. Identify the obstacles that prevent you from engaging in the kinds of relationships that you want.
4. Don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. While that “chemical spark” is important, a person’s enduring qualities are what really help to lay the foundation for potential long-term relationship success.
5. Determine if you are really ready for a relationship and assess your true motives. One of the biggest relationship “sabotagers” is not being able to be fully present, being distracted by other needs or issues, and having other priorities that compete with the relationship. Determine if you are “dateable” and develop goals to accomplish true relationship readiness. Develop your self-esteem and create a vision for how you’d like your life to be.
6. Don’t stay in a dating relationship that’s not working just for the sake of staving off loneliness or fearing hurting the other’s feelings. This only robs both of you of precious time that could be better served improving your quality of life in new directions. Learn to be assertive and direct with your needs and feelings.
7. Don’t bail out of a dating relationship at the first sign of trouble. Relationships take hard work and conflict is actually a necessary precursor to deeper connection and intimacy. Assess what’s missing and what the barriers are and determine if negotiation is possible. There can be no growth without healthy conflict; however, know the difference between that and when the relationship really isn’t a “goodness of fit.”
8. Be proactive in getting what you want and take responsibility for what happens. Conquer your anxieties about taking initiative. Don’t stand on the sidelines hoping someone will make contact with you. Make that move yourself and choose to approach someone if you’re interested. Internalize the mantra: NO MORE MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!
9. Face your fears of rejection directly. A turn-down for a date has nothing to do with you as a person; it has everything to do with the other person’s projections and needs. Know that you are worthy and deserving.
10. Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive people who will affirm you and support you. Family and friends provide a much needed source of connection, love, and fun that can truly enhance your life as a single gay man.
11. Be careful of casual sexual encounters if your goal is to meet a prospective life partner. Typically sexual release is the primary aim of such encounters, which can confuse and disillusion you to the type of men available, believing that gay men only want sex and nothing more significant or with depth. Put yourself in situations where you are more likely to meet men with similar goals and if you choose to “play along the way,” always practice responsible safe sex.
©2004 Brian L. Rzepczynski
Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a roadmap that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, teleclasses, and the self-help book he co-authored, “A Guide to Getting It: Purpose & Passion,” please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com Thank you!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/120672
Silvie studied the covers of the two modern romances she held, totally oblivious to what else was going on around her in the bookstore. She frowned with indecision, trying to decide which of the books she was going to buy. One of them had the steamiest picture she had seen on a romance novel, with the heroine’s breast thrust up impudently, and the hero’s hand poised at her neckline, ready to expose her succulent flesh. Silvie’s pussy was getting wet just looking at the picture.
However, the other book had a more promising storyline. A young virgin, living on a remote island meets an American surfer while he is on holiday…how could Silvie resist a teaser like that? She felt the telltale tightening in the pit of her belly at the thought of being seduced by a sexy, powerful man, and she released a shaky breath. Decisions, decisions…
“Find anything you like there Silvie?”
Silvie jumped from the unexpected interruption, but even more from the husky tenor of the voice that had whispered the question in her ear. She dropped one of the books as she whirled to face Mr. Jones, her former high school English teacher. Her face flamed.
“Mr. Jones! What a surprise to see you here.” She pasted a bright smile on her face.
The twinkle in his eyes and the smile that flirted with the corners of his mouth told her that he knew she was embarrassed. He knelt to retrieve the book she had dropped, and he couldn’t resist surreptitiously scanning her legs. She was wearing a short skirt that came to mid thigh, and her exposed ankles, calves, knees and lower thighs were curvy perfection. In his mind’s eye, he pictured those legs wrapped around his waist while he plundered her tight pussy…he was getting hard just thinking about it. He forced his thoughts back to the present as he stood up to hand her the book.
Silvie’s blush burned even brighter as Mr. Jones studied the cover of the book she had dropped. It was the book with the erotic picture, and Silvie wanted to melt into the floor. She had had a crush on Mr. Jones all through high school, and even three years later, she still fantasized about him. More often than not, it was him she thought about while she stroked herself to climax in her lonely apartment.
Silvie hadn’t been the only girl in her high school to have a crush on him. Most of the girls in her school had drooled over Mr. Jones, with his tight fitting jeans that lovingly hugged a perfect butt. Every time he turned his back to write on the blackboard, the girls in his class would crane their necks to get a better look. They had nicknamed him Mr. Ass.
Of course, his perfect ass was part of a totally appealing package. At the age of twenty five, he had been the youngest teacher in their school. His body was lean and muscular, and he had the most startling sky blue eyes. His hair was tawny gold and just a bit too long for a proper teacher. The ends curled over the collar of his shirt, and Silvie had often fantasized about running her fingers through those wavy locks at his nape.
Mr. Jones raised an amused brow as he handed the book back to her. His grin was the epitome of sexy. “Interesting read you’ve chosen Silvie. I see I wasn’t able to inspire a burning love of literature in you.”
His tone was clearly teasing, and Silvie found herself returning his smile. He had no idea that he had inspired lots of burning love in her, just not for literature! She looked up at him with a shrug.
“Well, you know, it’s good to be interested in a variety of genres. Shakespeare and Thoreau are fine and good for an afternoon’s entertainment, but they’re not the greatest choices for bedtime companions.”
Mr. Jones considered her statement, his cock twitching at the thought of her needing a bedtime companion. A woman like her shouldn’t have to go to bed with a book. He had been attracted to her since she had been a sophomore in his class, but he had never acted on his inappropriate urges. He hadn’t forgotten her since though, and he had always wondered what had become of his sexiest student.
Seeing her now, at the age of twenty one, he thought she looked sexier than ever. Her dark blonde hair was gathered into a casual knot and held with a clip, and her brown eyes were definitely the bedroom variety. Her full lips by themselves were enough to inspire naughty fantasies, not to mention those perfect, pert breasts filling out her t-shirt…he had to get a grip on his imagination, or he was going to embarrass himself.
“I was just about to grab some lunch. Would you like to join me Silvie?” He found himself holding his breath for her answer.
Silvie’s smile widened as she looked up at him. “I would love to Mr. Jones.”
He laughed with pleasure. “You know, I’m not your teacher anymore. You can call me John if you like.”
Silvie nodded. “Okay John. Lead the way.” Silvie set both novels on the shelf and turned to walk away.
“I thought you were going to buy one of those books,” John said.
“I changed my mind,” Silvie said with a shrug. She didn’t mention that seeing him had provided her with enough bedtime fantasy material to last months. She wouldn’t need a romance novel for a while!
They walked to a nearby Greek café, chatting about the events of the past three years since they had seen each other. They were both a bit surprised to realize that they were completely at ease in each other’s company. Over a lunch of calamari, salad and wine, Silvie told him about her adventures in university, and John asked lots of questions, obviously interested.
“So I only have one more semester to go before I graduate. Then, I will have to find a great job so I can pay off my student loan!”
John raised his wineglass to salute her, and there was a twinkle in his eye. “Ah, here’s to student loans!” They both drank, and he set his glass down. “Don’t worry too much about it. I know from personal experience that you pay it off sooner than you expect. Especially once you get a job as a computer programmer. They make good money.”
“I hope so,” Silvie laughed. “I’m counting on all my hard work to pay off. What about you? Are you still teaching at Gordon High?”
“No, I stopped teaching about two years ago,” John replied. He was distracted as he watched a piece of calamari disappear into her luscious mouth…he suddenly realized she had said something. “Sorry, what was that?”
“I asked what you are doing now,” Silvie repeated, briefly wondering about the dreamy look on his face.
“Well, I’ve had a few books published, and now I’m a full time author.”
“No way! Really?” Silvie’s enthusiasm was flattering.
John laughed and nodded. “Yeah. I really like it, being able to work on my own schedule, no commute, no school board politics to deal with.”
“That is so cool!” Silvie said with a smile. “What kind of books do you write?”
John looked down at his plate. A wicked grin was threatening, but he tried hard to keep a straight face. He was not entirely successful as he met her eye. “I write romance novels.”
Silvie choked on her salad and grabbed her glass of water. It was several moments before her sputtering subsided and she met his amused stare. “You’re joking right?”
“No really, I’m serious. I write under the pen name of Jack Jonson. Maybe you’ve seen some of my books?”
Silvie could only give a weak nod as she reeled from shock. She had not only seen his books, she had every one of them at home beside her bed. He was, in fact, her favorite author, although Silvie had always thought he was a she. Her mind raced, as she realized that all his books had a theme of a strong, sexy man who couldn’t resist the lure of a younger woman. Of course, the characters always ended up having hot, steamy sex. Not surprisingly, her favorite of his books was about a teacher who seduced one of his students…a young, pretty blonde with brown eyes.
Silvie could feel her pussy soaking her panties, and she shifted on her chair. “I can’t believe I’m sitting here having lunch with my favorite author. I’ve read every one of your books.”
John’s cheeks flushed with surprised pleasure. “I’m flattered.”
“How do you come up with your inspiration?” Silvie asked.
She placed another bite of calamari on her tongue, licking her upper lip to remove a bit of the sauce. She noticed that his eyes watched the golden morsel disappear before he responded.
John gave a casual shrug as he answered. “Oh, from different things that I’ve experienced or fantasized about. I think it’s best to write about things you know.”
“That makes sense,” Silvie replied. “Are you working on another novel now? I would love to read an excerpt.”
John laughed. “As a matter of fact, I am. If you’re seriously interested, I’ll give you my number and you can drop by sometime when you have time.”
Oh, she was interested all right! That was the understatement of the year.
“How about today? I’m free for the rest of the day, if you’ve got time to show me your stuff.”
“Alright,” John murmured.
He could feel his pulse beginning to race at the thought of having Silvie in his house. He definitely wanted to show her his stuff, but he wasn’t thinking about his writing. If she only knew how many times he had dreamed about having sex with her, she would be shocked. It was a challenge to stay focused on the conversation as they finished their meal, but he managed.
Stay Tuned for the next chapter when John shows Silvie more than just his studio.
Being a single parent can be difficult when you are trying to raise children on your own, maintain a career, take care of a household, and run kids back and forth to school and extracurricular activities. Good dating tips for single parents who are unsure if they are ready to be back on the dating scene include taking it slow, be upfront and honest, and take time to establish a rapport and trust.
A single parent has more responsibility in dating than the average single person with no children. Single parents need to adhere to wise dating tips in order to protect their children, as well as to ensure that the single parent is also not settling for less than he or she deserves. Taking on the responsibility of dating is yet another task, but it also can be a fun and rewarding one that can potentially bloom into a long-term commitment and marriage.
Understanding that your child’s needs come first is primary when you slowly merge back into the dating scene. Look around at friends who were single parents at one time and successfully dated and married. Ask them for suggested dating tips and listen to their experiences so you can gain some personal insight to the challenges you may face while dating.
In addition to talking to friends who have been in the same situation, it is also important to listen to your inner conscious and intuition. Many people ignore red flags that go up about the person they are dating simply because the person is attractive or has money, or because the single parent is tired of trying to find someone to date. Paying attention to your red flags and intuition cannot be replaced by any dating tips or advice you receive from anyone. Only you can gauge what feels comfortable and what does not.
It is wise to be upfront in the beginning to the person you are dating about the fact that you do have children. While many people are reluctant to bring this up on a first date, you will gain respect from the person you are dating because you are being honest and allowing him to decide on his own if he wishes to continue dating someone who has children. Following these dating tips will put you on solid ground and you will have nothing to hide if the relationship continues.
If you continue to date the same person, there will come a time when you will debate on whether or not to introduce the person to your children and family. If you believe it is potentially a serious relationship which could develop into something long-term, it is wise to introduce the person to your children, and vice-versa.
Consider a family-friendly date at a theme park, playground, or pizza parlor, or another similar public place for the time you introduce the person you are dating to your children. Keep it informal, public, and safe the first few times he or she meets your family to protect the best interest of everyone involved.
For further dating tips and advice for single parents please visit Dating Fox.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6300944
